Vancouver Week 1 - Meeting People with Thomas

im new here so i pretty much dont know anyone.  im sitting in calhoun's which is my morning times/helios substitute.  calhoun's is great because:

a) its open 24 hours

b) coffee bar + a delicious bakery

3) it looks like a log cabin (from the inside)

d) it has christmas lights on the windows, in the summer even! OMG ZANY!!!!!111one and yes, regardless what you think, sam metzler, it IS summer here too

now dont get me wrong raleigh, ill always love MT and helios because:

a) free drinks

b) sexy service (i mean, ladies (spago), have you SEEN jeffron the immortal???) GET IT GURL! YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WAAAANT!!!

so while im surfing the internets (the missed connections section in the seattle craigslist, hoping to find one about me when i was there that one day) and drinking my medium iced vanilla latte, i get a vid chat invitation from thomas "bernie pickle" schambach.  of course i was talking (via my fingers) with him on ichat, so i declined the vid chat and told him that i was in public.  he quickly, and may i say harshly, refused to accept my denial and insisted that even though i was in public, we should talk anyways on vid chat because people talk in coffee shops anyways.  i succumbed to his demands.  

so as we talk like the scholars we are, exchanging political news and wise anecdotes, thomas gets the lovely idea to have some innocent fun with a stranger.  i of course agree because of what happened last time.

now, thomas is in a dark room and the only light that is illuminating his man face is the light that is coming from his laptop monitor window tv part.  so for me to see him, he has to get all the way up to the camera.  i have him on full screen so his face is now life-size.  keep this in mind.

anyways, there is a human female that is sitting behind me that i have chosen to be our victim, i mean, gift recipient.  shes studying at the moment so this little surprise will surely cheer her up from the life sucking work of...what ever she was studying at the time, im sure it was life sucking.  i get up, turn around, and place the laptop with the blacked out monitor on the corner of her table and say in the most soothing voice ever, "can you watch this, i have to go to the bathroom"

sidenote:  canada doesnt know what i mean when i say 'bathroom'.  canada only understands 'washroom'

she of course responds with a not-as-smooth-as-mine voice, "sure"

score.

i walk away, grinning ear to ear and giddy as a schoolboy.  i get to the bathroom (originally not needing to go) desperately find a urinal to relieve myself from all the excitement.

meanwhile:  

little schoolgirl studypants was working hard until thomas appears from the darkness.  his face is filling the screen and starts to talk to her.  "hey, hello, heeellllooooo.....im thomas was north carolinaaaaa"

she, thinking that it was a video, starts to watch.  after realizing that it wasnt a video, panically says, "holy shit, you are talking to me!!"

now, im not really sure what was said between her and thomas during the couple minutes i was in the bathroom looking cool, you will just have to ask him.  

im come out of the bathroom with great relief that she was smiling and talking rather than pissed off and my laptop broken on the floor.  i walk over and stand beside her to talk to thomas and we laugh and giggle and laugh.  i introduce myself and tell her that im glad that she has met thomas.  so thomas exits and i ask if i can join her because im new in town and dont know anyone.  she said yes so:

friend count: 1

we hang out and talk a bit but i didnt want to stay too long because i could tell that she needed to study.  after about 20 minutes or so of talking to each other with our mouths, i told her it was lovely to meet her and i turned around back to my table.  

thomas asked if i was married yet and i had to inform him that i was not.  i stayed in calhoun's for another 30 minutes or so until i got up to go.  before i walked out, i turned to study girl and i told her that i would love to steal some non-tourist tips from her sometime.  she asked if i was on facebook, and for me to add her.  she wrote her full name on a piece of paper and handed it to me.  

i told thomas what her full name was and a little bit later, he sent me a link to an IMDb page.  well apparently this calhoun's cafe study girl does a little producing and acting in vancouver.  and reviewing her resume, she has done some short films, theater, tv spots BUT most importantly, shes into improv.  now, goody for me because i would love to perform comedic improvisation in vancouver (nothing will replace Really Special People) so if i bother this girl enough, she may point me to the right people to get set up with a troupe! score. make people laugh. come on. yes. 

now, some of you may want to know who this mystery super famous super star is but i have chosen to respect her privacy because im sure she doesnt want a bunch of north carolina geniuses (idiots) contacting her to warn her about a fat problem in vancouver and that she should run for the hills.  hilarious. false.

good times.  meeting people is easy and fun (if you follow thomas and my plan)