San Francisco - Part 2

well, i made it home (vancouver) safely and now i think im ready to write part 2 of my san fran adventure.  now, ill go through all the little stories before i end with the grand finale....the ultimate highlight of the trip and possibly the history of mankind.  dakota is still wrestling with herself on whether or not this highlight is a good or bad thing.  i think its the best thing....and whatever i say goes.  dakota! SIT DOWN AND LIVE WITH IT!

now, during the week, adult dakota had to go to work everyday.  and that left me, alone, crying, and trying to figure out how to turn on dakotas impossible shower.  its ridiculous....and im not used to turning on and off showers because i used to just hop in whenever karibbean was in the BZL wet room.  and i would just let him "work the plumbing".

i should email this blog to karibbean's parents.

anyways, i was a bum and would wake up around lunch time.  i would be the worst (sexiest....ok, fattest) san fran tour guide ever.  once i was up, i would just walk around the different neighborhoods and try to "blend in".  it was neat walking around, riding the bus, and seeing all types of things.  i would go into all the cool bike shops that sf nick told me about and i would look at all the premium track bikes that i couldnt afford (thanks dakota, sf drained my wallet! just kidding, it was worth it) oh and speaking of sf nick, i got him a little "thank you" gift from SF so if you are reading this nick, then look out for the mail. ill probably send it to endless grind. 

well one morning, i wanted to actually go see something rather than just walk around aimlessly so i decided to go to the golden gate park and go the the de youngs observatory tower.  well, golden gate park is pretty big so i just started walking around in it (aimlessly) to try to find that stupid tower.  well dakota failed to mention that "golden gate park" really meant "hippie and bum marijuanaland".  so there i was, walking around the very people that Purel had in mind when they created their hand sanitizer.  

whatever, this aint no thang.  all of a sudden a this man, while riding on his bike (probably made of hemp, used toilet paper tubes, and an old vcr) swerves toward me and loudly barks in my ear.  now, im very surprised i didnt jump up in fright or at least flinch a little.  but luckily for me, i was listening to my ipod, and his bark matched up perfectly to the song i was listening to:  advent - blackout

finally i make it to the tower.  i climb many flights of stairs (via elevator) to get to the top.  im exhausted.  what? no, refreshments? this place is bogus.  well, besides the no complimentary treats or hand shakes, the tower was pretty awesome.  you could really see the whole city from up there and if i was smart, then i would but the picture of the magnificent view right here:

but im not smart.  so, google it or something, im sure you can find a picture taken from someone smart.  wait, ill google it!  heres one.

so that was pretty awesome.  well, time to go get dakota from work!  every night, dakota and i would fill our mouths with delicious foods from all the coolest restaurants.  it was great (expensive).  but worth every penny.  sf nick would live vicariously through our stomachs as we would go to his favorite restaurants.  him and i actually had a conversation about this:

nick - "look, i dont think this is working, i dont taste anything"

me - "ok, ill eat more and then maybe you can taste it!"

nick -  "no, it wont work, youre an idiot" 

me -  "im the idiot? LISTEN TURKEY! I WANNA EAT MORE OF THIS HERE FOODS SO LAY OFF BUB!"

nick - "i dont know why you are being so hostile"

me - "you just dont get it. DEAL WITH IT! HIT THE HIGHWAY! ITS MY WAY"

so i hung up my imaginary phone, walked out of the bathroom, and dakota asked who i was talking to and i just quickly changed the subject.

for my last night, dakota wanted me to experience bubble tea.  for any of you that dont know what bubble tea is, you can make it yourself! (well a bubble tea alternative at least) all you have to do is go get a smoothie.  then get a bag of gummy bears.  open the bag of gummy bears and empty the entire thing in the smoothie.  then use a 1 inch in diameter PVC pipe as a straw and GO TO TOWN ON THAT BABY!

so it was pretty good and weird at the same time.  i was already full from dinner and then i decide to put a pound of nerf balls in my belly.  my stomach just looked at me and asked if i was fucking loony or something.  it wasnt happy.  but i didnt throw up (im a professional).  every night, dakota and i would watch movies.  we watched sleepaway camp and almost all the indiana jones (as well as a couple episodes of mad men and project runway.....dakota wanted play "designer" and wanted to dress me up but couldnt find anything big enough to use).  those movies were awesome...."harrison ford is so sexy, i would french him so hard" - cobra rhodes.

HIGHLIGHT OF THE TRIP TIME!

while dakota was at work, we were talking to each other on the internets and were trying to figure out what adventure to go on that evening.  i remember passing by one thing and thought it might be an option for us to do.  i pitched the idea to dakota (half joking, half serious).  she thought about it and said "sure".  i was so glad that she agreed because i knew this was going to be awesome.  

we met up after she got off work and we headed to the castro theatre.  and there was already a line forming.  we stop by walgreens to sneak some candy in the theatre and to get cash back (this was a cash only type of places, 0ld sk00oo00ol) i sneak in trolli peach o's.  they are so delicious.

we finally get our tickets and walk in only to be given a gift bag full of goodies.  wow, i like this theatre.  now, ill admit, for a split second i was worried that no one was going to be as enthusiastic as i was hoping for.  my fears immediately vanished when we walked into the already full theater of excited people wearing golden paper crowns.  where the hell did everyone get the crowns? ohhhh wait, the gift bag!

we sit down and open the gift bag to discover a golden crown, pearl necklace, fork, plastic clapper that was shaped as a fish, glow stick, noise maker, and bubbles.

i put on my crown, crack my glow stick, look at dakota with a stupid grin and say, "this is going to be the best night of your life!" 

now, i know most of you are on the edge of your seats to find out what this magical night was all about. well its just going to have to wait

SING-A-LONG TO THE LITTLE MERMAID!!!

ok i couldnt wait any longer.  this night was probably the gayest/best thing ive done in my whole career as a human being.  but we pretty much had no choice.  when dakota and i walked by it one day, it was just destined that we would find ourselves in the same line.  if the theatre was just playing the little mermaid by itself, we probably wouldnt have gone (maybe) but this however was the rocky horror picture show for little girls....or in this case, middle-aged gay men.  the castro is the gay neighborhood in san francisco. soooo, it was amazing.  the whole movie invited the participation of the zestful crowd to sing, yell, and do whatever the spirit of disney made you do.

for ever song in the little mermaid, lyrics would grace the screen so that everyone could sing a long.  its funny how many songs that are in the movie and how you could only remember the first verse.  

along with the singing, there were cues in the movie for everyone to yell.  when the sharks were on the screen, the audience would yell, "look out!" or "get out of there ariel!" 

here were some other cues:

ursula: boo and hiss

sebastian's walk: use the clappers

ariel in new outfit: oooohh and aaahhhh

prince eric: woot and hollar (this was the easiest for everyone for some reason)

whenever you want ariel and prince eric to kiss:  make kissing noises

when they DID kiss:  pull the sting of the noise maker

when ariel was taking a bath: blow the bubbles

im probably forgetting some but other than those, the audience pretty much just yelled the entire time...laughing and making random comments.  it was my kind of theatre.  i would just yell, "shes such a babe dog!" whenever ariel was on the screen. 

my favorite cue was the ursula one.  it was great because ursula herself never actually received any boos or hisses.  however her two evil eels, that would appear on screen every time before she would appear, received ALL the boos and hisses.  by the time ursula actually appeared, everyone was pretty much over the boos and hisses and was ready to yell something else. 

like i said before, i was a little worried that people werent going to get "into it" but it was completely the opposite.  if it got any crazier, the place was going to explode......the gayest explosion ever.  during the song "unda da sea", everyone was singing as loud as they could and more than half of the theater got up and went to the front to dance and sing all together.  it was ridiculous and made me miss the BZL and raleigh dance parties. 

the only three little girls that were there didnt know what the fuck was going on.

dakota didnt know if the sing-a-long to the little mermaid, being the highlight of the trip, was a good or bad thing.  i assured her that nothing in the world would top that and it made the san fran trip of 2008 the best trip in the world!

here are some pictures from the trip:

full house

 dakota just got "PASSIONATE", she was jealous   

me: excited, dakota: unimpressed

 

brothers bennett

others can be found on the facebooks and my flickr but there werent many pictures