NC State - Reflection Paper

alright well when i was an undergrad lad, a couple of my fellow chums and i got into a little campus mischief.  this was the result.  

Graham Bennett

04-24-06

Reflection Paper

About a fortnight ago I was written up, charged, and found guilty for disorderly conduct. The reason for this is a lengthy, interesting story. It was a Friday and wonderful Friday at that. Matthew Bateson, Kalib Smith, and I were going to take the advantage of a lovely day to play outside and have some fun. Little did we know, our innocent intentions could have caused an accident.

My friends and I decided to play campus golf on the beautiful Friday. Campus golf is where you play golf, on campus, but with tennis balls instead of golf balls. Playing campus golf with golf balls would be just plain foolish because you could seriously hurt somebody or break someone’s property, such as windows, cars, or IPODs. We started at the Court of Carolina because there is good grass there to play. We played around the campus at the various grass spots. It was a lot of fun and harmless. Everyone that was around us found that campus golf was very interesting and funny. They loved watching us play. We never hit anyone with the balls and everyone around was aware that we were playing so everyone was safe. During the entire course of play, the intention was to have a good time. The weather was great, my amigos were there, and we were looking to have a swell Friday afternoon. Never was there any intention of having fun at the expense of another person. In regards to the Court, it was great grass. There were hardly any people laying out getting sweet tans, so we thought it would be the perfect starting point.

As we moved along campus, in a safe and cautious way so we wouldn’t hurt or offend anyone, we went through the brickyard. It was during class time so the college students were immersed in their studies instead of loitering in the brickyard. Because of their responsibility, no one was in harms way of our balls going through the brickyard. For the people relaxing in between classes at the Atrium, they were very amused and greatly enjoyed our excellent display of a harmless, fun game of campus golf. I personally received many compliments on my graceful swing. On the contrary, Kalib was mocked and booed for his lack of participation in the fun and exciting game. A real lackluster performance was earning him no “kudos” from the many attractive human females sunning their righteous bods whilst appreciating the subtle geometry of the brickyard parabolas. Needless to say, everyone that sunny Friday who came in contact with us three experienced wanton mirth and a welcome break from the tedium of their studies.

Along through campus we went, through the brickyard and to the attractively landscaped area adjacent to the Fox Science Teaching Lab. Kalib was on his phone at the time so he could not experience the sheer exhilaration of the fast growing sport of campus golf. After all this time through campus, we never once hit a student, car, nor well respected college professor. Many spectators erroneously thought that our main objective was to get a birdie on each hole, but in actuality, our main objective was to have a very safe day and not to put anyone or anything in harms way. Our intentions were never malicious but only to enjoy the great Friday and create new friendships with many fine NC State students. After passing the FoxTrot (the area behind Fox Science Teaching Lab, personally I would like to call it WolfTrot), we approached Dan Allen Drive. This is where our seemingly perfect day went astray.

As we approached Dan Allen Drive, Kalib was still on the phone, so he hadn’t been participating as Matthew and I were. Matthew and I agreed that playing on Dan Allen Drive was not safe because the mere image of many innocent civilians being brutally injured by a Wolfline bus going wildly haywire after the bus driver being distracted by our perfect swing and a fluorescent yellow tennis ball flying through the air went through our heads. It is a very similar concept described in the action packed drama thriller that propelled Ashton Kutcher (of tv’s “That 70’s Show”) from small-screen teen idol to the silver-screen heartthrob that won Demi Moore’s heart, “The Butterfly Effect”. Where a small action, such as hitting a tennis ball could possibly result in a horrific bloodshed on a sunny Friday afternoon on a once peaceful campus thoroughfare, Dan Allen Drive. After realizing the possibilities, we decided to grab our balls and walk down Dan Allen to emerge at Tucker beach and continue our rigorous game of campus golf. As we were walking down Dan Allen, Matthew and I were passing the tennis ball back and forth to strengthen our hand/eye coordination in a light-hearted fashion. On a slip of the wrist, the ball was expelled from our grasp and onto the sidewalk. There it rolled from the sidewalk to Dan Allen Drive and rolled down the curbside all the way to the intersection of Dan Allen Drive and Yarborough Drive. We quickly ran down to retrieve AWOL tennis ball. That particular tennis ball was my favorite because I wrote “I LOVE YOU” on it and I was not about to lose it. I mean, let’s face it: this was no ordinary ball. Painstakingly inscribed with an uplifting message of love to anyone who should find it (perhaps a lost soul, experiencing a dearth of joy and a surplus of malevolence from the cruel and gnarled hand of fate) I still felt not quite ready to let my love spread its wings and fly. Sometimes you just have to hold on to your favorite ball a little while longer. Having retrieved the tennis ball, we were down at the intersection where we ran into a few fellow co-eds who we were quite fond of; we were exchanging words of goodwill and delightful stories of the day.

While conversing with one another, a local constable who was diligently patrolling the area, decided to investigate the situation because his vigilant eye spotted our golf clubs. His strong moral compass indicated a possible crime in progress. However he had nothing to worry about because we were merely enjoying the day and our intentions were in no way malicious. The responsible police authority, once hearing we were just playing campus golf and not playing on the roads, told us to be careful and drove off to his regularly scheduled patrolling. Quickly, we saw the specially equipped Chevy Impala Cruiser barrel down Dan Allen towards our threesome. Kalib was the only one who said a swear word.

We, knowing we perpetrated no wrongdoing, coolly stood our ground and did not make a scene by attempting to flee. The officer of the law took us aside and told us that someone called in a report that their car was struck by a flying golf ball. We immediately knew that this report was not aimed at us because we neither struck a vehicle nor did we have golf balls. Nevertheless, we cooperated with the two fine police gentlemen, in the spirit of civic dutifulness that is the hallmark of all of our endeavors. One of the officers actually put “very cooperative” on my citation. That is where I conclude my account of that fateful Friday where I received the charge of disorderly conduct.

The next step of the process was to meet with Susan Trageser and talk about my charges and who Graham Bennett was. During our meeting, I explained what happened that Friday and she explained the meaning of “disorderly conduct”. After hearing her definition, which was that my actions could have potentially caused an accident, and upon realizing that even though I didn’t cause an accident, I could have, waves of shame began to caress my nubile flesh. I realized that my initial probing into the viability of the seemingly harmless pastime in which I naively engaged could have, despite my lofty intentions, resulted in an array of potential campus cataclysms. My decision making of tossing the tennis ball along side the Drive of Dan Allen was initially harmless but upon further review, having been enlightened by Susan, I realized my grave error: the fact that a florescent yellow rolling object down the side of the street could distract many motorists and cause a plethora of either minor or major accidents. Somber reflection after the fact caused me to come face to face with imagined scenarios which made me realize just how irresponsible my actions were. Had WRAL-5 anchor David Crabtree (my idol, by the way) been present, I would have felt even more foolish. This is not the behavior becoming of a well-intentioned youth studiously dedicated to his family, university, and future career. The image of Chad careening his lifted Ford Bronco into little Susie or a particularly zaftig Phi Delt haunts me because I would know that my carelessness on Dan Allen would have been the cause of that tragedy. In fact, I am scared of walking on the sidewalk with a zesty summer blouse (this can refer to a men’s shirt as well as a woman’s) on because I could potentially distract a hard working UPS driver from his rigorous, yet underrated and vital, errands of commerce.

Another vital lesson of this whole ordeal was that I learned that my irresponsible actions led Kalib astray from his pure innocent soul. Matthew and I wanted to bring Kalib along to experience the joy of campus golf. Maybe it was his sixth sense, but Kalib never fully participated because somehow he knew our carefree gallivanting would go horribly awry. Maybe subconsciously, Kalib knew that even though our playful games were fun and brought joy to many people, they could just have easily brought undeserved woe to our fair scholastic community. Some days I wish Kalib would have spoken up but instead his silence cost us dearly. Yet it is childish of me to attribute my actions to any fault of Kalib because it was ultimately my (foolhardy) decision. I wish that my run in with the law has no lasting effects on poor Kalib because I wish to be a moral role model to my life partner.

As to the question of what I would do if I ever find myself in a similar situation, it will never happen. But if on the rare occasion I am carrying a sports-oriented ball in public, I would choose quickly to conceal it in either my pocket or a safe satchel, where it can be protected and away from vehicles and pedestrians. I’ve learned that when it comes to safety, motor vehicles should never be taken for granted or underestimated as the potentially hurtling missiles of jaywalker carnage that a momentary distraction could render even a seemingly benign Kia Sportage or Toyota RAV-4. Public safety should not be trifled with. I’m glad that Susan brought to my attention of my irresponsible actions of that day. She gave me a newly found respect for the vehicles around me and that I should never do anything flamboyant to potentially cause one of these vehicles to run out of control.

In conclusion, I’ve come to look upon these unfortunate proceedings as a valuable learning experience. Although I behaved erroneously, from the lessons learned I will walk away a changed and matured human male. The next time some friends and I decide to have a little fun and rant around pretending to be the next PGA pro, I will think about all the possible and potentially harming consequences before beginning anything that can be called a “good time”. I just hope that I haven’t made any lingering negative effects on NC State’s students, drivers, or Kalib. I hope they don’t take my lapse in judgment as indicative of my true nature and are not tempted to repeat anything they might have learned from my poor example. Once again, I heartily apologize for my misconduct, which shall not be reoccurring.

The End

special thanks to cobra rhodes for helping me construct this masterpiece.