so im here. now. writing a blog. of course about something that happened over a week ago. i lament not writing enough about my family vacation because the bennett family dynamic makes for good comedy. especially the in(s)ane personality of my mother. that 's' is in parentheses because she is absolutely insane but she its the inane type of insanity instead of the, you know, stabby type of insanity.
however, i have to cut my loses and realize that writing about something that happened months ago would only lead to the worst retelling of a story in history. so on to the story that calls for the title of the blog.
not this past weekend but the weekend prior, a group of went on an excursion to anna's parents cabin in the mountains of washington state. the team: lars, laura, eva, anna, george, paul, thollander, and graham flanagan bennett junior. anna, george and i were in the first car that left at 10am (1pm). those two times are anna's planned time, and anna's actual time of leaving. shes about as punctual as thollanders "clock" he bought from a dollar store. heres a little advice: dont buy an alarm clock from a dollar store....actually, just dont buy anything period from a dollar store if you need something reliable.
the drive wasnt that bad but the highlight of the drive up was a nice little country convenience store we stopped in, in small bum town, washington. i walk in to take a gander at all the great merchandise when my eye catches something quite incredible. a t-shirt. however, this was no ordinary t-shirt but a t-shirt that made you say "oh oh" when you saw it. at first glance, the shirt looked like a budweiser logo but upon closer inspection....it was actually a logo for "buttweiser" and there were three cartoon drawings of butts with thongs. wow.
oh this a whole rack of t-shirts? YES! so george and i start flipping through the selection and come across some gems. there was a michael jackson tribute one, which i ended up buying (of course). however, i do regret not buying the best t-shirt in the store...i really dont know what i was thinking. let me paint the picture of the shirt for you...
as you gaze at the majestic shirt, the first thing you notice is cartoon moose in the middle. what is the moose doing? oh, he is having sexual intercourse. who is the moose having sex with? would obviously be a poor question to ask in this particular case, but rather WHAT is the moose having sex with? a cut down tree, of course! since this is a cartoon, the artist took the liberty in letting the tree have the ability to speak because in a speech box from the tree was not words of love but rather, "what the f--?" due to future public presentation of the shirt by a lucky consumer, the artist had to censor the "f-word" to keep the classiness of the shirt. im glad he did that because i didnt want the picture of the moose humping the tree to lose its classiness...
this lovely picture was surrounded my some words, which formed the best poetry of the 21st century. above the picture was: "when i get drunk..." and below: "i make mistakes!"
incredible. and i fully regret not buying it.
so we arrive at the cabin friday evening and i immediately find a robe to put on. my swim trunks, michael jackson(with the sleeves torn off), and the robe was my official outfit for the entire weekend. after the grand tour, i came to the conclusion that the cabin was totally delicious. a couple "selling points" were: pool table, dart board, and the hot tub. however, the true hidden gem of the weekend was: george. george is anna's husband who is totally awesome. im glad he exists.
big statement? i dont care. i can say whatever i want in this here blog. george was the super glue of the trip as he was responsible for the majority of the cooking. i, of course, was responsible for the majority of the eating. the first example of this was the "quick dinner" we had our first night. "hey graham, you want a grilled cheese?" asked george. immediately my response was YES because i love grilled cheeses. hot cheese? dont mind if i do thank you very much!
while waiting for my sandwich, i decide to spend my time wisely so i started cleaning out all my bellybutton lint. after the last piece is pulled out, i realized i had enough to make a completely new shirt. yay goody, a FREE shirt! go green people. right as i was starting to assemble my new creation, george hands me the sandwich.
grilled cheese? george thinks THIS is a grilled cheese? this king sandwich was yes grilled but with: cheddar cheese, turkey, mayonnaise, honey mustard, tomato, caramelized onions AND pure lust. my eyes went dead when i consumed this hearty sandwich--shameless.
the rest of the peoples arrived later and the hot tubbin' began. oh, well the hot tubbin' started for anna the second we walked in...hours before the rest of us. you know, there are some girls that arent as "domesticated" as other traditional housewives, which is fine...but i believe anna takes this anti-standard to a new level. its as if someone tried to domesticate a dinosaur for the purpose of being a guide-dino for the blind....its just not gonna happen and more than likely someone will be killed.
so anyways, since the rest of the team arrived late, the night was just hot tubbin'. and thanks to lars, whose family not only brought hot tubs to canada BUT also invented the most efficient hot tub sitting position to maximize hot tubbin' time. someone employing this maneuver can stay in the hot tub for DAYS without dying. now, i would love to share this knowledge....but this particular move is going to have to cost you...
ok thats good for now...ill discuss more about the delicious foods and good times in a little bit.
