my life will never be the same. who knew that an innocent get together at josh's place on a friday night would be the catalyst for such a life changing event? i sure didnt. the evening began with a phone call from gini. gini's real name is virginia (she's from virginia) but she goes by gini. i, one the other hand, call her virg. the pronunciation of 'virg' is just how you say the first part of the state, or in this case name, virginia. i find that virg is a more fitting name to her personality as she is always on the verge of beating me up whenever i call her virg.
as im talking to virg on the phone, she expresses her true purpose of this certain phone call. she wanted to see if i would join her and ghita for a lovely dinner at a yet to be determined restaurant. we were all planning on going to josh's place for the evening but they wanted to grab dinner before the hang out session for obvious energy requirements. after the phone call, i was trying to think of a quality yet moderately priced place for consuming food. while taking a break of contemplating delicious restaurants near josh's lair, i called ghita to see if she could pick me up on her way to picking up gini.
now, some would view this request as a rude and imposing gesture but i assure you, it was neither. i was a polite gentleman as i looked at google maps to make sure that i was, in fact, on the way to gini's house aka the nunnery. i made sure my proposition was full of the genuine "ma'ams", "pleases", and "thank yous". ghita of course complied. one thing about ghita, is that she is generous and compassionate. she is actually in the middle of her residency of becoming a pediatrician and decided to take a year off to come study at regent.
as i awaited for ghita's call to inform me that she was outside, i was diligently putting in some hours at The Internets. as i published my previous internet private journal entry, my phone vibrates on the ikea wooden table. half startled and half excited, i picked up the phone. ghita's lost but luckily only about a block away. so i walked outside to greet her and expressed my giddy anticipation for the delicious food we were about to devour. i told her my restaurant suggestion and her facial expression was that of an unimpressed father who just found out that his only daughter is dating a boy with a belly button ring.
i was baffled that she wasn't as excited as i was about going to The Sushi King House. she explained that she didn't really like sushi but then said that she's only had it a couple times back home in saskatoon, saskatchewan...a place known for calling hoodies 'bunny hugs', and not known for its sushi.
by the time the freezing car ride to gini's was over, i had convinced her to give sushi another try since we are in the land of asians. however the heat of my excitement was almost extinguished by ghita's poor choice to keep the windows down in the car. i mean, come on!
we pick up and gini and head to the sushi king. the dinner was filled with balance of laughter, wise words, and profanities from both the ladies. gini was frustrated that she couldn't eat the sushi pieces in one bite and ghita was just about to lose it as she was unable to use chop sticks. how embarrassing. this is the very restaurant that my landlord took me that was known for its extremely and unnecessarily large sushi rolls.
after the wonderful dinner, the three of us treated ourselves with premium gelato. i of course chose the most professional pairing of dark chocolate and coffee. i was in heaven. well, at least the gelato shop in heaven.
finally, it was time to take our full bellies to josh's. the first thing i do when we got there was grab and dr. pepper and joined josh for some guitar hero. regardless who won (he won), we had to keep reminding the girls to stay calm and not take their tops off. josh's axe shredding skills and my unbeatable stage presence led the girls in a downward spiral of lust and perversion. as josh and i saw that we were making the women stumble, we respectfully laid our axes down. as this point, the door bell rang. it was luke.
luke is feisty little ball of energy. his constant poking at my recently worked out pectoral muscles does not bid me well. i repeat, does NOT bid me well. please stop it luke, you further tenderize my already tender body. aside from the sadistic side, luke is also one of the most brilliant and well rounded people i know. i love listening to his intense and knowledge filled conversations. his love for jesus and humankind is something to admire...even if he pokes my sore buff boobies.
while he wailed at guitar hero, the rest of us played foosball. josh and i represented Team Awesome while gini and ghita represented Squad Fail. Josh and I were able to perfect our victory dance while the g-girls were able to master their sobbing technique.
the next thing on the agenda was to play a friendly game called 'asshole'. asshole is a fun game that is usually played as a drinking game. since we werent drinking, we decided to tweak the rules a little bit. for example, whenever the 'social' card was played, we didnt all drink but rather high-fived each other. it was great. another alteration was incorporating 'truth or dare' in the game. whenever the president put his thumb on the table, the last person to put their thumb on the table was asked a truth or dare question. the asshole of each round was also asked a truth or dare question.
the five of us were not only having a blast but also learning some "truths" about each other. then came the moment that would lead to the driving force that would change my life. ghita was last to put her finger down as josh, the president, sneakily put his thumb down while someone put down the social card. as everyone was distracted by making sure to high-five each other, ghita was the last to catch on to josh's devilish plan. josh then proceeded to ask ghita whether she preferred a truth or dare. ghita's bold response left all of us thinking of what the dare could be. a previous dare that luke had to preform was extremely fun to watch so josh pressured ghita to do the same dare. she was to eat a spoonful of margarine. as she attempted to down the tasty (if used in moderation) spread, she gagged and spat it out. so as she couldnt complete the dare, she switched to a truth. technically you cant really switch between truths and dares but we made an exception because the rest of us couldnt bare watching ghita gag on fake butter again.
josh looks intently into ghita's eyes and says, "of the first year guys at regent......who would you kiss?"
the room fell silent as the rest of us waited in anticipation of her answer.
she tried to explain that she didn't know anyone well enough etc etc but josh explained that this was more hypothetical than anything and that she wasn't expected to ask the person out on a date in the near future. she ran her fingers through her blond hair as she was deeply thinking of what to say. her hesitation made sense only when she finally said the person who her lips desired...for that person was in the room!
the butterflies of my heart filled my stomach as she muttered the very name that my parents gave me 23 years ago! oh how beautiful is was to hear my moniker in a woman's sensual voice. as the other three oooed and aaahhhed like school kids on a playground, ghita and i blushed uncontrollably. this however was only the appetizer at cafe life changers.
the game continued and the main course of the life changing meal arrived a couple rounds later as the truth or dare question was laid upon ghita once more. this time i was president so i asked ghita, "truth or dare?" she responded with dare because she couldn't face another truth question. now, since i was president, i had the final decision on what dare to enforce. josh immediately yells out his suggestion for dare....which was for ghita to kiss me! the butterflies in my stomach turned to war rhinos that were fighting over the last cinnamon roll. however, i didn't want to be the creepy president to force a girl to kiss him so i laughed away josh's suggestion. while i was trying to think of a good dare, josh had rallied up gini and luke in a campaign to make the kiss happen.
their peer pressure was thicker than the margarine that ghita gagged on earlier. before i could do anything, ghita caved to their peer pressure. her wild desire took over her body like a master puppeteer and i was paralyzed as she leapt over the table with eyes filled with passion. although time was in slow motion, the combination of fear and excitement gripped my heart and froze my body. i couldn't run away nor did i want to. ghita grabbed my face with her pediatric hands and as the spectators used their hands to close their gaping mouths, ghita slightly opened hers.
my eyes were fixed on her eyes and hers on mine. it was like a fairy tale as all i could hear in my head was the acoustic version of Radiohead's "Lucky". are these the very moments that poets and artists find their inspirations? these surreal times of overwhelming emotion? was this "my time", my time to truly know what its like to touch someone else's lips with my own? the only reference i've ever known was the new years party of 2005 where brad dexter forced a pity kiss on me because, being a good friend, he felt sorry that i didn't have a significant other to smooch with as the ball dropped. this was all about to change.
as ghita's confident lips began to caress my quivering lips, i could see the imaginary grand parade in the air. angels and dragons were dancing around fireworks as sigur ros and radiohead played together in perfect unity and a waterfall of sweet tea poured over my body.
we embraced as if we were alone and as our tongues collided, my mouth was filled with the taste of margarine. it was fate that allowed me to feast on the margarine coated mouth as if God himself wanted to put me in a comfortable situation (i used to practice kissing a buttered baked potato when i was a child.......last year).
as we released, my heart was pounding out of control and i finally knew was it felt like to kiss a human female. the rest of the evening was a blur as i was just stunned by a buttered mouth. we continued the game and ghita and i had a hard time concentrating. her eyes were constantly gazing at me while i was too much in a post-kissing high that i couldn't function as a human being.
the night winded down as we were now watching the movie, 'definitely, maybe'. josh kept insisting that ghita and i cuddle or hold hands at least but both of us were well on our way down awkward avenue to stop and hold hands. i could see in ghita's eyes that if the goofy spectators weren't present, the hand holding would have been top on her list of things to do. she was smitten as i, on the other hand, was constantly thinking of butter.
we left josh's apartment and everyone said their goodbyes. the boys went to the boys car and the girls went to the girls car. ghita and i said bye as if that 'bye' was no different than every other 'bye' but in reality it was the most emotionally filled 'bye' in the history of humankind. this particular 'bye' could be used to create peace on earth. if this 'bye' was a sandwich, it would easily outdo a double big mac from mcdonalds.
only God knows the future of the event that occurred that friday night. the mystery is the beginning of another story within a story. there is only one thing for sure that can be taken away from this story and that is:
margarine is not only a substitute for butter but also a preferred substitute for saliva.
