Tuesday, October 28, 2008

OMG NINE DAYS!

so according to my korean friend (who is currently in korea) told that its been 9 days since my last post.  annyong.  so i guess im due to write in this thing.  however i dont have ample battery life in my computer for me to really devote quality time to this post.  so ill try my best to write all the "important" things before i am cut off.  no, im not going to plug my computer in...just shut up!

NINE DAYS!

a lot has happened in nine days and it going to take sooooo much effort in remembering all the steamy details.  ill start with the things that i missed from my last post.  i remembered later that i had forgotten to add a very KEY MOMENT.

iain, suzie, and i were hanging out and they told me about a haunted house around the corner from their (better than mine) basement apartment.  after we consume the best lasagna in the world (THANKS SUZIE!) we started heading towards the house.  on the way, iain was explaining that they came across this house in the "building" stage....some guy just putting stuff in his yard.  oh great.  stuff in the yard....im so excited.

however, as we near the house, screams of frightened humans filled our anticipating ears.  we get to the house and i see the most absurd thing ever.  this family has turned their entire front yard into an enclosed house of doom.  

now, i can feel the skepticism through the internetz but i assure you....this was professional.

we enter (free woot woot) and enter a small room that was filled to the brim of horror/halloween decorations and "dead" things.  ooooo scaryyyyy (please)

then things turned for the worse and iain, suzie, and i were screaming/grabbing each other/crying/and urinating ourselves. (not necessarily in order)

there was room after room with endless themes and "workers" dressed up in costumes and scaring the shit our of you.  this was by far the best haunted house ive ever been to.  this enclosed house of death included ALL the front AND back yard.  IT WAS HUGE and you had no idea what was a fake person or a real person waiting to scare you.  it was awesome.  the pattern of screams to laughs was great.  ( i got my ab workout for the year)

and canadians arent messing around...every haunted house ive been to before, the "scary demons" werent allowed to touch you.  in canada? false.  right when i thought, ohhh if wont be scary, they will say boo and thats it.....HOLY CRAP THIS DEMON IS YELLING AT ME AND AND GRABBING ME HELP HELP HEEEELLLPPPP!!!! 

it was so awesome.  i cant wait to go back.

NEXT!

ive discovered something great.  AND it fits perfectly with my grad school....


http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Main_Page

oh yes.  the whole bible is translated for you kitty kats.  some of my favorites:

JOB 38:1

Ceiling Cat startz tokking an wont shuddup

1 And teh Ceiling Cat sez in teh windz:
2 "OMG, WTF iz u sayinz? u iz a noob!


EZEKIEL 23:20

20 She liekd teh guys with teh big dixxxes... teh RLY big uns, like donkeys LOL... and massiv cumbuckits like horse


nooooooow im learning!

NEXT!

see now im pissed that ive waited so long because ive forgotten everything.  im dumb.

oh wait.

i hiked up a mountain sunday.  and then we went back down just to go back up another peak.  it was good though.  laura, virg, dan (karibbean's camp crush), and myself met up at dans house at 7am.  early.  we drive to THE CHEIF because we were going to show it whos boss.  

the climb was super awesome and was just pretty much a steep rock staircase the entire way up.  once we got to the top, the view was PREMIUM.  i could see north carolina!!! so i tried to spit on it.  however, the wind sent it right back and it hit me in the face.  i guueeessssss i deserved that.  

side note:  i miss north carolina.  it rules.  the people rule.  the food rules.  the end.

i was exhausted after the hike so my body is currently on broken mode right now.  and apparently i used my left leg 80% of the time because it is SO SORE.  quads.



OH! 

halloween party is this friday and my costume is going to BLOW YOUR MIND!

so you know how halloween (for girls) is the day where its OK to dress like a whore????

is it OK?  false.  you look like an idiot AND i know you are freezing because its late october.

and maybe it would be more acceptable if you just actually said what you were dressed as.  for example...if i asked...

me - "oh, what are you dressed as?"

girl - "im a prostitute that has a fetish with cotton balls"

me - "wow, well, you really pulled it off....congratulations?"

me - "here, take my jacket...or youre going to die"


HOWEVER...this is how the conversation really happens...

me - "oh, what are you dressed as?"

girl - "IM A LAMB!!  seeeeee, i have a cotton balls here, here and here"

me - "you just pointed to your nipples and crotch....this is just awful.  i dont even know whats going on...this cant be acceptable"

me - "here, take my jacket...or you will probably get groped by a phi delt"




and sometimes these costumes dont make any sense.  its as if they were playing mad libs and read:  'slutty (noun)'  and went from there.

so, im going as a SLUTTY NOTEBOOK!!

i mean, i own post-it notes right?

so i figure, ill just get naked and wear three (perfectly placed) post-it notes.

and before my fellow brothers from the bro-zone lair comment on how i need a billion post-it notes or more efficiently 3 billboards to cover my body.....just remember guys....SEXY NOTEBOOK!


general updates:

1) no girlfriend (sorry martha)
2) no boyfriend (mom, im not gay)
3) still fat
4) danny is an idiot because its only been 8 days

1 comment:

samuelrhodes said...

YES, the LOLcat bible is INDEED PREMIUM. I think that for hallowe'en you should be "SEXY CANADA" and wear 36 lumberjacks to cover one nipple (just barely), 7 log cabins to cover the other (once again, close call) and a 1" model of a moose to cover your fun zone (plenty adequate, room to spare). i would suggest that you carry a barrel of maple syrup to swill to complete the look, but come on, you always do that anyway.

speaking of the fur industry, how much does a mountie pelt go for these days?

(sorry i deleted the first one, i wasn't finished when i sent it)