Monday, October 20, 2008

End of Reading Week

reading week began with an ultimate high and naturally, this led to a steady downfall.  the furious make out session maybe wasnt the best thing for the beginning of the week because now, the rest of the week pales in comparison.  im going to attempt to describe the week with the best of my ability.  now, to make this post seem somewhat decent, please shove crayons up your nose until you have forgotten about the previous post of majestic wonder.

well first off, we had movie night pretty much every night of the week.  movies ranging from definitely, maybe to wall-e to eastern promises.  if any of you want to see viggo mortensen aka LOTR's aragorn in a brutal (yet sensually inspiring) naked fight scene while covered in tattoos then eastern promises is the movie for you...so is the labyrinth...for different reasons.

we did however make it to the actual movie theater one night.  the movie we saw was nick and norah's infinite playlist.   it was funny and fun.  a real fun funny flick.  in the middle of the movie however I, the only person who found this awesome, started "hootin' and hollarin' " like jesus did when God clowned Job in Job 38.  (maybe this wasnt exactly recorded in the bible but im sure it happened)

nick and norah both claimed to be straight edge which was awesome because i couldnt think of any other movie where straight edge is mentioned.  later, my friend garrett told me about an underground film that was made called "the edge of quarrel" where straight edge is mentioned but it was never on the silver screen so im not counting it.  also, apparently it sucked (aside from good live footage of Botch).  zach, have you seen this?  you look great.

tuesday night was a special night.  by special, i mean we didnt do the same thing as every other night of the week.  in my CTC lecture, we have tutorial groups that meet once a week and discuss the lectures and the readings.  now, i know what you are going to say...and i know that most universities have tutorial groups buuuuut do your tutorial groups meet at the professors house for desserts??? and get to know each other while eating delicious sweets??? i thought not.  

each tutorial group is led by a professor (not necessarily the professor that leads the lecture) so my tutorial group leader is craig gay and the TA is steve watts.  ghita, laura, virg and i all go together to craigs house.  to get to craigs house, one has to leave the comforts of marked roads and street lights.  it was quite dark as we were trying to find out where his house was.  as we were slowly cruisin' through the neighborhood like a car of gang members searching for the next squirrel to practice our drive-by skillz we see a person with a reflective vest on.  this person was pretty far ahead of us and he all admired his "safety first" attitude.  did i mention that this person was 15 feet tall?  AND IT WAS COMING RIGHT FOR US!!! in an unusually slow trot.  

ghita started freaking out because she hates tall people and wanted to run her car into his kneecaps but i assured her that she had nothing to be afraid of.  for this man was merely riding a horse.  ghitas nerves calmed and the blood rushed back to her white knuckles of annihilation.  unfortunately laura is deathly afraid of horses and vomited ALL OVER ME.  it was so gross and i panicked because i didnt want to go into craigs house with laura vomit all over me.  (did i mention she was eating paint earlier that day?)  

so my body looked like a jackson pollock painting that had been used as a beer pong table at the latest phi delt party.  

on the bright side, ghita had a change of clothes in her trunk.  problem solved?







of course not!

i looked like a bag of mashed potatoes with a few rubber bands wrapped around it.  her t-shirt was broken and the pants she gave me left nothing to the imagination.  to everyones surprise, the night went swimmingly and craig even complimented me on my classy attire.  THE END of tuesday night!

everyday of the week, i woke up late and went to some coffee shop to spend hours and hours reading.  although it felt like i accomplished a lot, i really didnt.  reading week was like eating at a chinese restaurant.  i spend hours eating my plate of general tso's chicken and when i feel like my stomach cant take another bite, i look down and see a full plate in front of me! IS THIS MUTATING OR SOMETHING!?

oh, and apparently 23 = 102 in fat years because my lower back is killing me.  for the past couple years, my lower back every once and a while gets sore but this time its different.  i started doing some ab workouts (eating more) and stretching my hamstrings and glutes.  the past two nights ive slept on the floor with two rolled up towels.  one under my neck and one under my lower back.  it definitely helps a little but i dont want to get used to it...i want my back to be normal.  suzie, iain's wife, was "nagging" my back and definitely could tell a difference with one vertebra.  she kept saying it was "softer than the others" but she told me not to quote her on that so please ignore the previous quotation marks.  

dr. ghita told me to go to the doctor and i told her that ive already been to TWO doctors. 

DR. BENNETT (hey, thats me!)

and 

DR. INTERNETS

nurse youtubes is pretty good at showing me how to stretch.  she has soft hands.




what else is new....

oh!

waiting for laundry equals perfect time for experimenting.  

this morning (while waiting for my laundry to finish) i put a ton of pomade in my hair because i wanted to see if i could give myself a pompadour.  ive never attempted this before but then again, laundry takes forever.  

so im going to town and realize that no matter how much pomade i used, the brand i had wasnt going to cut it.  i need murray's pomade.  regardless of the lack of murray's i had, i managed to create a decent pompadour.  no, there are no picture because it was "decent", not extreme!  ill have to grow my hair out some more, buy murray's and try again.  ill never be able to match this guy.

i cant wait till next laundry day! GOODY YAY

so laundry was done and i so i hop in the shower to wash all this crap out.  after three shampooings, the pomade was still in there.  ohhh shits.   whatever im over it.  ill have to try again with either hand soap or dish detergent.

ive decided that laundry day will either lead me to be the greatest inventor on earth or dead from some ridiculous accident.  either way i will make the headlines.

"genius man invents..."

"stupid man dies from..."

OR IF IM LUCKY...




"BREAKING NEWS: MAN INVENTS NEW AWESOME WAY TO DIE!"


2 comments:

Future Histories said...

I have not seen it, but I've also heard that it's really stupid aside from the botch footage.

did you watch the botch dvd? do it.

I miss your body.

Jeffrey Dwight Smith said...

"Jeff can I use your washer dryer?"
"Sure Graham, anything for a pal."

8 hours later

"Jeff I need you help hand washing the brown from my delicates"