An American Day

im sitting in my beloved Grounds for Coffee with a full cup of coffee and IM PISSED OFF!  and ill tell you exactly why im pissed off.  i, graham bennett, just got STOOD UP! 10 seconds ago.  

heres the story...

im just hanging around my apartment (i woke up at 12:15pm by the way) just looooouuuuunging.  checking emails, looking at facesbooks, and listening to some sweet jams.  i walk over to the fridge and stare at a plate of tomatoes and some carrots and just wondering to myself, "what the hell am i going to do with those?"

i could make a sandwich i guess.....with cheese, tomatoes and carrots? oh wait, i dont have any bread.  great.  CEREAL! ill have CEREAL!  cereal never fails, especially if you rock some fruity pebbles.  oh wait, no milk.  great.

just then, iain and suzie called.  now usually that would sound weird because how could two people operate one phone?   well thats just what they do....its weird.  iain listens, and then tells suzie, and then suzie talks.  they had to get the old zach morris phone in order to fit their heads on it.  sweet? far from it.

the conversations last forever because ill say, "hey" and then i can hear iain tell suzie, but suzie usually says, "oh babes, i heard him, but i like when you tell me" and iain will respond, "oh ok good because i really like being just the ear in this phone operation and relaying the message....i feel really cool."

so this usually occurs after everything i say.

anyways, 30 minutes later, the plan was to meet at Grounds for Coffee and hang out....EXTREME STYLE!

so goody, yay, i get to go party!

while im walking down to Grounds for Coffee, im listening to bands like:  the minor times, this or the apocalypse, and trap them to get AMPED for devouring cinnamon rolls and politicking about everyday adventures and/or life lessons.  

once i arrived, i ordered a medium coffee and a cinnamon roll with icing.  the cashier lady then says, "so are you starting to make this a daily routine?"

oh no.  i come to this place all the time and they finally caught on and are now concerned with my wellbeing.  i respond with, "yeah, im trying to get diabetes by the end of the week."

this wont be hard.  

she hands me the coffee and the sugary poison cake...instantly, waves of shame began to penetrate my particularly zaftig body.  i sit down, and consume while waiting for the scottish duo to arrive.  then i get a call and they inform me that "our plans dont match up"

what?! what the hell does that mean!!??

i was so confused because it was THEIR idea to meet up and hang out.  this crushed me.  i feel like buying a second cinnamon roll with EXTRA icing to quench my sorrows.  who am i kidding....ive already had two...

anyways, they decided to bail on me.  this is CRAP!  i hate iain and suzie and my hatred to them will just spread to an irrational hatred towards all scotsmen.  NEVER trust a scottish person!  their mouths are full of gross lies and their hearts are full of poisonous spiders.

whatever, im over it...we will probably hang out later (probably a sleep over or something)....i just said all that to let you know that i turned a bad into a good! as usual, because im awesome, and i live life TO DA MAX!

TIME TO BLOG!!  (that was the good outcome of being stood up if you didnt catch on....get with it)

ill tell you about a fun day i had last week with a gaggle of friends.  the Incredible Delicious Insightful Open Team Sexy and i went to seattle for the day...mainly to "be american".  our choices were intentional and well thought out.  it was gini's bday and she wanted people to be awesome and go to an american baseball game.  

heres the team:

 

we meet at the nunnery at 9ish? i think.  and we started out way (with two cars full of sexy individuals) to seattle!  we immediately hit traffic with other motorist interested in entering the united states of america for some good times.  nomi informed us of a premium short cut that would take us on a side road to another border crossing.  the side road pooped us out almost at the front of the line.  apparently it was "poor form" to turn into the line via this side road.  by "poor form" i mean there was a big sign that said NO RIGHT TURNS! but someone let us in anyways.....half of us felt bad, half of us let the glory of beating the system tickle our insides.

we arrive to the border and present our valid passports containing horrible pictures of everyone.  the mister man with a badge (and probably a gun) asked us how long we were in canada, since we didnt have canadian passports.  very perceptive.  i like that.

luke responds by informing this gentleman that we were studying theology at regent college.  to which the officer asked if we studied greek.  i hadnt.  AND NEVER WILL! 

luke said yes.  which trapped him the officers web of investigation.   the officer starts speaking in greek and i immediately start thinking that if luke doesnt know what hes saying then he will catch us in OUR DARK LIES!!!  well we werent lying BUT THE COPPERHEAD COULD THINK THAT!

luke recognizes what he was saying and enthusiastically answers, "john 1!"

that was a close one.

the officer gets giddy as well and they start talking greek/studying/being awesome.  then another officer comes up and yells, "alright chatty cathy! you cant keep talking to every car!"

SO WE MADE IT THROUGH!  and the officer didnt even know i was smuggling in THOUSANDS of canadian treats in my pockets.  fooooooools.

as we near seattle, we give the other car a shout to see where they are.  unfortunately they didnt take the side road cheat and were only just through the border.  they were so far behind.  fooooooools.

however, we couldnt get into the stadium because gini (who was driving the other car) had all the tickets.  so we decided to spend our time at a starbucks.  i think i need to define that 'we'.  our team, team winners, included nomi, luke, makana, and me.  

time passed.

the other team, 'team interesting smells', arrived and we were granted access to the stadium.  we had nose bleeds which was great because we had a birds eye view of the field.  let the american day begin! well i guess it began earlier, whatever, shut up.  

the day was perfect as we were enjoying the american baseball.  moments later, the american foods started to pour in.  we had american hotdogs with american ketchup and american mustard, american coca-cola classic, american fries with way too much american garlic on them.  it was so delicious and any sort of attempt at achieving a sexy summer bod in canada that week was annulled (the tasty kind) by my decisions in america.

oooooooook it is currently june 16th and i havent touched this blog since may 24th.  this is bologna.  i started this post so long ago and then school started with INTENSE reading and i was so swamped.  on top of the school work, i was helping out with a play so that took a bunch of my time.  anyways, lets see what i can remember and finish this dumb post.

so we were at a baseball game? right.

uhhhh ok that finished and i was filled with food.  the mariners won? i think so.  on the way back we stopped at a mexican restaurant to eat. ok im over it. PUBLISH.

oh wait, before i publish i WILL say that we stopped at target on the way back and that place is so awesome and canada SUCKS for not having them.  i bought so much hanes products that i should officially be sponsored.  nomi and i clowned laura for her "injury" pew pew pew (inside joke) and then i hated the ride back because luke and nomi decided to blast kelly clarkson.  OK BYE.