Sunday, May 3, 2009

Jeffron the Immortal part 5

RESUME!

i need to finish this whole jeffron mass posting because i got more and more STUFF to talk about.  so lets just talk about a million activities that jeffron and i owned HARD.

GRANVILLE ISLAND!

this magical place is a little place underneath the granville street bridge and is home to restaurants, theaters, art galleries, and the famous granville island public market.  its a nice little date spot to bring your significant other...in this case a rough and touch male named jeffron the immortal.  

we walked around, lookin' frrresh, all throughout the market.  it was packed with EVERY fresh food EVER!  i swear the strawberries were the size of softballs.  mutants really.  there was a chocolate fountain that flowed sweeet milk chocolate the entire time but what unfortunately encased in a protective glass that was "guaranteed fat proof", which is actually a couple grades more durable and furious than bullet proof. 

sidenote:

ok, i am currently sitting in the seattle airport waiting for about 3 hours for my shuttle to go back to vancouver.  "oh why is graham in seattle?" says the avid reader, concerned parent, or interested friend...THATS EXACTLY MY POINT!! i have SO much to talk about and why im in seattle or, get this, why i was at a vietnamese karaoke party for the past two days......ohhh yeah, i need to quickly finish this jeffron novel so i can move on to, no offense jeffeypoo, MORE VIETNAMESE THINGS!

oh wait, that wasnt the sidenote at all, ok REAL sidenote:

im in the seattle airport and i just watched a group of 20 pilots walk by HOLY SHIT THEY ARE BACK AT IT AGAIN.  ok, i feel pretty lucky to get two "fly bys" from 20 pilots wearing their formal navy blue pant suits and rolling their state of the art baggage behind them.  it was such a great sight...there precise groups and steady/confident strides made it seem they were professional choreographers (speciality: walking)....now, would a group of pilots be called a "fleet of pilots"?

ok, back to granville island.  the walking around with the stop in the hammock store for a "let me act like im seriously going to buy this hammock but really im just lazy and want to lay in a hammock for a while" adventure was great BUT the highlight of the granville island experience was the KIDS MARKET!!!!!11111onewon

the kids market was full of games, toys, small toilets, art tutorials, arcades, annoyed parents, boogers, and most importantly.....GRAHAM AND JEFFRON!!!

we hit that place like we owned it!  as we were immediately denied access to the jungle gym/tunnels/ball pit we decided to drown our sorrows first in the toy store.  as the children we are, we got pretty bored pretty fast so we traveled upstairs through the sticky handrail staircase (stupid kids) to the arcade.  

game on.

there were kids screaming and running around but jeffron and i took the arcade with the utmost seriousness.  its business time.  makin' the monies......or in this case...makin' the little pieces of paper that you have to annoyingly hold on to and then exchange for cheap plastic goods that you will lose in 5-10 minutes.  now, im not going to brag but ill just type a, unnecessarily inflated self-promoting account of what happened...

MY SKILLZ WERE DA BOMBZ AT THE MACHINES!! THEY WERE MY MACHINES!!

HUNDREDS OF TICKETS FOR GRAHAMMY B!!! it was magic as i manipulated every token in order to produce as many tickets to fill a bathtub up.  ecstasy caressed my nubile flesh so intensely that i know that cobra felt the aftershock in nyc.  children were cheering my name as i was a GOD to them.  an ARCADE GOD!!! I TELL YOU!!!  as i squeezed every ticket out of the machines, i never once touched the dirty common-folk ground with my feet because i was hovering the whole time due to the 20 kids holding up my throne made of gold plated arcade machine parts.  the seat cushions were constructed of the finest balls from the ball pit....filled with mayonnaise for the perfect buoyancy

I WAS LIVIN' THE DREAM!!!! (see picture)



as i was being showered in the blood of all the firstborns, i looked over to jeffron to touch base on his success.  it was pathetic.  he had one ticket in his hands, which was given to him by a little girl who saw him crying in the corner chewing on his industrial hiking boot.  for a split second i felt bad but then i realized that the heavy feeling on my shoulders wasnt a sympathetic feeling towards jeffron...but rather the millions of tickets that were covering me like a royal cloak!! THE TICKETS WERE SO HEAVY BECAUSE I WON SO MANY TICKETS BECAUSE IM SO AWESOME AT THE ARCADES!!!!!!!!!

i told you i wouldnt brag.

we went to the counter to cash in out tickets for some sweet stuff that would make all the cool kids jealous.  i didnt think that jeffron would be able to afford anything from his one ticket but apparently he stole a bunch of tickets from a small child sooo goody yay for him.

we looked at the prizes and saw all the most premium winnings such from plastic spider rings to bouncy balls!!! it was incredible.  BEST. DAY. EVER.

my reign quickly came to a halt when i realized that one bouncy ball was 345678765432 tickets.  dammit.  alright, well ill take a couple spider rings, a chinese finger trap, bouncy ball, and a popper.  jeffron was able to get a couple of stuff and when the girl at the counter said that he had 15 tickets left....he just pointed at her....winked.....and said, "hey, how about you get yourself something nice"

she laughed and im pretty sure she just took a stick of gum or something.

high rollers.

we took a prize photo shoot which brought the attention of a curious child.  we made friends:



after playing with the prizes for about 4 hours, we decided to put them away and keep wandering around the stores.  oh kids clothing store? dont mind if we do!

this store, though advertised for children, was really created for jeffron and i.  i mean, the magic filled t-shirts came in little boxes THAT LOOKED LIKE T-SHIRTS!!! OMG!!!111onewon yes please a million of those for me i will wear them everyday.


yeah these are lookin' frrrresh:



so now you know where jeffron and i got our magical t-shirts full of power (touching power).  now it was time to leave the kids market:



 KIDS MARKET = INCREDIBLE LAND 2009!!

i will buy this place, kick all the kids out, and make it my home.




here are some random pics throughout the granville island adventure:



 


2 comments:

Jeffrey Dwight Smith said...

(Arms flailing up and down with fists balled and stomping loudly around the coffee shop) Friends! Friends! Friends! Friends! Friends! Friends! Friends! Friends!

One thing, immediately after the glorious photo of us with all our prizes and new found 6 year old friend, the girls mother came over to us and yanked her little girl away. She specifically stated "Do NOT put that picture on the internet" Graham and I naturally smiled and waved goodbye to our new best friend and assured her mother that we would do no such thing.

She turned and walked away.

Once she was out of sight we looked at each other, slowly turned our little league baseball caps backwards, and said in unison and without hesitation "Whatever Mom!"

And now its on the internet. Boom!

That's how we roll!!!!!!

Friends!Friends!Friends!Friends!

Jeanne Damoff said...

I LOVE Jeffron's expression looking at your new arcade friend little girl who is now on the internet. Oh wow.

Okay, I came back to savor this post since I had to hurry through it the first time, and it was just as laugh-ilicious as leftovers. I don't even know where to start my comments, because I would have to comment on everything. So just know your brain has my undying admiration.

One of my new life goals is to see a "fly by" of a fleet of 20 pilots striding with precision like professional choreographers (specialty: walking).

Love, M2