let's talk about bacon. now, this was no ordinary bacon. this was the type of bacon that probably knew truths about life...mainly in mathematics. dont ask me how! it was just special. something extraordinary. one person that was supposed to be present but was out of town was our semi-sweet friend nomi. she is what we like to call a non-jewish jew. let's get one thing straight....she isnt jewish....her parents arent jewish....but she did however grow up in israel so we can say that she is culturally jewish. one of these habits she adopted was not eating pork. theres no reason for this other than her cultural upbringing. so she doesnt eat pork...no big deal. i dont give her crap for not eating pork just like she doesnt give me crap for being straight edge. i mean, she is so respectful of my choice and the reason that i choose to be straight edge that i often send her handwritten thank you notes in the mail with hearts and pictures of me expression my gratitude. these expression range from a classy headshot to an interactive picture such as me hugging a puppy with printed off picture of nomi's face as a mask. SOoooOOoooOoooo cuuuute!!!111onewon.
anyways, all that chit chat was to say that this bacon would have won even NOMI's heart. she would have seen it and knew her no-pork run was over. the shine of the maple syrup beamed through the air like rays of delicious light as the aroma filled our noses. as we were about to dig into george's amazing breakfast, i looked up to see eva drooling, which is actually cleaning her face from the dinner the night prior. thollanders eyes were in the back of his skull as he hypnotically tried to eat the air. laura was rolling up her sleeves in preparation for the bacon grease overflow. anna was rubbing the extra bacon grease on george's bald head because thats what you do in marriage. paul was for some reason taking his clothes off. and lars.....lars? dammit lars! GET OUT OF THE HOT TUB! IT'S BREAKFAST TIME!!!
this was by far the best bacon ive ever had. perfectly cooked with a glaze of maple syrup and probably a bunch of other stuff that george used. black magic being one of them! the scrambled eggs were the perfect consistency with cheese and herbs. hashbrowns? YES PLEASE! we devoured this magnificent meal with no shame. fat bodies....healthy minds.
the afternoon was devoted to digesting the breakfast as well as playing darts and pool. which i rule at by the way. i beat EVERYONE....EVERY TIME! well except george at darts. but he's on a team....so he doesnt count! he's cheating. he couldnt play for long because he had to start cooking dinner. george was the hero of the weekend because of his cooking skills. it was ridiculous, i say!
the ham he prepared for dinner was incredible. i think what made the ham taste so delicious was its combo of spices, herbs, and human seasoning. "human seasoning?" the untrained chef asks. well because george is the king of multi-tasking....he decided to cook the hunk of ham in the hot tub with all of us in it.
this sound disgusting but take the word of everyone there.....IT WAS MAGICAL! the human broth hot tub was the secret ingredient in giving the ham the desired flavor. i can hear anna saying, "SSSSSICK!" as she reads this or more accurately, quickly skims this. sorry anna, no pictures this time. well how about this one. that should appease you.
dont judge us. nor george's unorthodox cooking methods. though seemingly disgusting, THEY PRODUCE RESULTS! and not the result i got from the doctor confirming my type-2 diabetes or the result of my american apparel model audition:
but POSITIVE results. wait, i cant say 'positive' because the diabetes test was a positive and the doctor was also positively sure that i ate one of the medical instruments when she was out of the room. YOU CANT PROVE ANYTHING. so i guess the results that george's cooking produces are.....
mathematically complete. by that, i mean they complete people. everyone is, whether they believe it or not, incomplete until they eat from george's kitchen. here is a documentary explaining this phenomenon.
sidenote: this clip is SO MUCH MORE RIDICULOUS when you realize that they are in a room full of people.
im done writing. making that picture took far too much time and effort. so, the weekend was amazing. feel good, look good, do good, eat good, laugh good. i am very thankful to have such amazing friends.
especially the ones that can cook....BECAUSE I LOVE TO EAT.
endnote: mom, i do NOT have diabetes. please dont think that i went to some canadian doctor who told me i had diabetes. dont send anymore articles about childhood obesity or proper eating habits. thank you. i love you.
3 comments:
Tory Burch Boots and all participation public figure's micro abundant time attention activity newest trend. The public permeable website and the handset procedure, each time are the JMJ child charitable foundation make a US dollar donation in the public welfare quartz wall, but Shi Hualuo the world singular element simultaneously will also contribute one US dollar, donor's name will demonstrate on the public welfare quartz wall Tory Burch Flip Flops.
In order to encourage the more benevolence public figures to participation, the success donation's public figure has the opportunity to win iPhone the 4S handset and designs by Li Jiaxin uses Shi Hualuo the world singular element iPhone4/4S handset outer covering. Finally, the brand will use equates Shi who the final offering number and micro retransmits this active news number of times sum total abundantly Hua the Luo river world singular element, Tory Burch Sandals section of sparkle classics the work to take the eternal commemoration specially Tory Burch Flats.
Interesting post you have done here. People likes these post. I wish to check out
Sky email problems
Post a Comment