Is this stealing?

its sunday so im obviously partaking in my sunday ritual which some would guess (and be wrong) that i was at church.  your wrong guess would be close though....i am at grounds for coffee eating a marvelous cinnamon roll and drinking incredibly hot and black coffee.  i have made this a graham bennett sacrament.   the best part about shoving this 10,000 calorie death trap down my throat is that i JUSTIFY IT!  thats right, i completely let myself off the hook by saying, "well, this will be the only big thing i eat all day."  so dinner will be just a bowl of frozen vegetables like last night (and i think the night before).

anyways, geez, the only reason i started talking about my cinnamon roll was only to say that eating a cinnamon roll may or may not be the best thing while writing in your bloggypoo.  i feel like eva when my keyboard is covered in cinnamon and frosting.  "how the hell did that get there.....EVA!!"  ohhhh it looks like eva got into the, im going to be safe and say, blueberry pie.

alright back to, or should i say, lets finally start the story at hand.  OH MY GOODNESS! this is LITERALLY a "story at hand" because im TYPING it!! that (sadly) just made my day!

so yesterday, i was at bennys bagels with lars, nerida, and maria.....having a lovely time kinda studying.  we were there for a loooong time and i was ready to leave and catch some precious vitamin d by staring straight into the sun with my eyes wide open.  apparently, thats the only way to REALLY do it (nomi).  maria was first to leave....an early strike if you ask me.  then later, nerida and i left....lars wanted to stay and "read".  well i shouldnt really put quotes around 'read' because that was exactly what he was doing instead of being aware of the cute girl that worked there that was obviously interested in him.  way to be oblivious lars.

so nerida and i were OFF!  walking down broadway, staying classy, and soaking up premium sun rays through out head windows.  she wanted to go into this consignment shop to look for a winter coat and since i was walking with her, i decided, hey...i dont have anything to do....especially not do school work like a responsible person.  however, it was to my dismay that this particular consignment shop was sexist.  sexist in a sense that it didnt cater to my manly needs by providing manly clothes.  it was a "girls only" shop......but i took caleb's nonchalant attitude towards signs like those and "model walked" right in.

nerida told me to try to find clothes that she might like.....this didnt go to well because a) i dont really know nerida that well so i obviously dont know her style and b) ive never shopped for girls....i could go shopping for my own sister and never pick out something "acceptable".

i obviously got bored quick and started playing in the small fountain they had in the store.  i was quickly reprimanded by the owner as she explained that theres bleach in that fountain.  then i made this connection:

man in "girls only" store = unattended child

or maybe its just me.  whatever, im over it.

after nerida tried on the entire store and didnt buy anything, we were OFF AGAIN!  this time to blockbuster.

we spend around 3.2 hours in blockbuster trying to figure out what the best movie is to show a bunch of 6th grade girls.  and no, im not hanging out with 6th grade girls, thats nerida's "hobby".  i didnt even hang out with 6th grade girls when i was in 6th grade.  i take that back, i had my first kiss in 6th grade from a girl in braces and after the kiss, my entire face was soaking wet with saliva.  it was AWESOME (at the time) but kinda gross thinking about it now.

we finally made out professional choices:

i got Holes.  and nerida got Penelope and Wall-E in the hopes that those little girls hadnt seen either.

boom!

while in line, there was a huge bowl of cadbury cream eggs that i of course cant resist.  when we get to the register, i try to "negotiate" with the counter lady as i proposed her this fair offer:

"hello lady, is there a deal where we get three movies and get a discount AND a free cadbury egg?"

she laughed and then she went on to explain some boring blockbuster rewards plan blah blah blah WHATEVER YOUNG LADY!

after her failed sales pitch, we just said we would just get the 3 movies.  however, i looked at her and asked, "so are you saying that i have to pay for this cream egg?"

with this she looked around, smiled, and then responded with, "wwwweeeelllll, i didnt say that" wink wink 

well those 'winks' werent there, but by the tone of her voice, they were implied.  so i said, "ohhhhhh gotcha"  wink  (my wink was there FOR SURE)  and then i put the egg in my pocket.

she rang up the movies and we left.  once outside, i looked at nerida and said, "well at least i got a cream egg! GOODY YAY!"  she looked at me like i was crazy and a BRUTAL THIEF!  what an outrage!

however, since shes from australia, ill give her some slack because she didnt know that:

a) there are various north americanisms that mean "yeah you get that for free"

and 

b) i get free stuff a lot

SO THE ACCUSATIONS STARTED!!!  it was baloney.....she didnt think that "wwweelllll, i didnt say that."  (in the tone of "yeah youre getting that for free") meant that I WAS GETTING THAT FOR FREE!

so im a little hesitant to share my little consumerism secret on the internets, fearing a widespread panic of all corporations that a certain someone (me) has been getting free stuff now and again by the simplest method EVER.  and no, not stealing!

but simply......ASKING!

for some reason, ive found that if you just ask for it for free....theres a SMALL chance (but a chance nonetheless) that you will get it for free.  ive done this mainly at coffee shops but now i can add blockbuster on the list of AWESOME STORE THAT GIVE FREE MERCHANDISE TO GRAHAM FLANAGAN BENNETT JUNIOR!

its really entertaining because since the worker isnt supposed to give free things out, they get an adrenaline rush as they rebel against the "system" and give me a free cookie or coffee.  i feel like im doing the ultimate service:

1) creating excitement in the life of a worker in the midst of their mundane works of commerce

2) keeping the corporations in "check" and to let them know they arent more powerful then the everyday man or woman

3) and IM GETTING THINGS FOR FREE

so moral of the story is that if people get things for free, its not necessarily because they stole it.  AND you should give things for free a lot because you might make someone's day by giving them something that costs one dollar for free.